What I learned about truth
Written and compiled by Seki Ajenifuja
“The truth." Dumbledore sighed. "It is a beautiful and terrible thing, and should therefore be treated with great caution.”
A couple of months ago on a warm Friday evening a time lockdown was initially easing. I spoke to 8 other friends, friends of friends and childhood friends about how to live your truth and self education. I threw caution to the wind and ignored Dumbledore’s words in the quest of finding out what it means to live your truth. Here’s how the conversation went.
What does it mean to live your truth?
The first segment of the series opens up with discussion about what everyone in the group has identified as the meaning of ‘living their truth’. Majority of the sentiment echoed surrounds being able to just simply ‘be yourself’ and exist within the confines of this world whilst being able to chase your dreams and what truly matters to you. Buks goes on to speak about her background and why she went ahead to study Law at University. She says “it is the only thing that I thought would be accepted by my parents and Nigerian society”. This gives you a bit of a glimpse into how Nigerian society operates and the types of people it values.
After graduating with a degree in Law and working within the legal industry for a year, the experience helped her clarify how much she did not want to be a Lawyer. Buks decided to change career paths to focus on digital marketing, an interest she had kept somewhat contained alongside studying for her Law degree.
On the topic of truth the concept of subjective and objective truths are discussed. Tolu poses a “yes or no” question to the group about whether or not the truth is objective or subjective. According to Amalie, the truth is objective and unemotional. It can be proven as true or false or logical based on facts. She expands to say if asked whether or not you bumped into the car in front of you, you simply respond with either “yes” or “no”. There is no need for further explanation as to whether or not you bumped the car. Ade throws a spanner in the works with a question to the group concerning gender identity. He asks the group members who have described the truth as objective - “what would you define as a woman?” Tolu responds with “a woman is whoever defines themselves as a woman”. That response in itself indicates why there is a distinction between objective and subjective truths and why they must operate in parallel to each other. Whilst there are responses surrounding “the truth” that require an objective response, other areas elicit a subjective response.
There are so many examples of instances where we have been led to believe a certain concept or story plastered over the news or on social media or even through personal experiences. This can also be manifested in the form of family, friends or even education systems. Christine explains that growing up as a young black girl from London, all she was exposed to, was one perspective of seeing the world. This is what she later came to realise was the perspective of a “whitewashed” education system. Christine says “at University the articles I had to read to support my essays or better understand my course topics were normally by scholars of one certain race and even the history I learnt at school, was from one voice”. It was not until Christine’s second year of University that she realized that “there is so much more history out there”. There is nothing wrong with reading articles by white scholars, what becomes problematic is not being exposed to perspectives of scholars from other races so as to be able to create and form a more rounded opinion on whatever the subject matter might be.
Self-education can come in many different forms. It is a concept that is personal to each individual and is normally identified upon self-reflection or through observations from people who know you within certain contexts such as friends, supervisors, managers, tutors etc. Based on this explanation, Olu explains to the group that the most recent self-learning he has undertaken was to learn more about the rights of other groups of people, such as people that identify as being part of the LGBTQ community. “From when I was 16 to 27 years old my thinking is completely different on LGBTQ rights … till I was 16 I was always told this is evil but after 11 years as an adult … you realise it is a natural emotion…”
This ultimately ties in nicely with the topic of discussion – being able to live your truth. The journey to discovering your truth in turn leads to self-education and that is personal to every individual. There is little fulfilment in chasing someone else’s dreams or rushing to the finish line at the expense of personal growth and development. As Richie Norton put it “doesn’t matter how fast you cross the finish line if you’re running the wrong race.”
Tips for Adulting
Being open to trying out new things helps you on your journey to finding out what your truth is
Once you have figured out what you feel your dream or purpose in life is, learning skills to invest in your future self is key
Self-reflection is important for self-education and so figuring out what activities personal to you best help with self-reflection (such as writing, listening to music, hiking etc.) is important
Being good at something does not necessarily mean you enjoy it and in turn does not indicate that you must only pick a career based on what you are good at
Frustration is an emotion that can lead to self-education
Delayed gratification and opportunity cost are important aspects of financial literacy
Spending money before you get it is a bad habit- it is much better to work with what you have at one point in time
You may have to come to terms with the fact that you will not always earn money from what you enjoy doing
Even if you are doing something you love, as with everything in life it will hardly ever be smooth sailing all through. Be prepared to accept this but not discouraged
